Just an year 2

He messed my entire life, he killed the only hope of me that ever existed and now I feel maimed because I cannot feel love like before. He played me and took me for a fool. He told me that he loved me, he promised to never leave me. Ironic how he’s the one who pushed me away. He said, “For the longest time now I’ve wanted you to move on, but you keep staying.” But finally I was the one looking at the picture because I was no longer in the frame, he was in it now. It was like a blind man gaining sight bit by bit. I began to see how badly I was doing. My life was intertwined with his and he created in me whatever he pleased. I had no power over myself, I was simply a puppet. Now I realize that that wasn’t love that he had for me after all, it was obsession. He said that he was scared to lose me but then his words I trusted not after he betrayed me. He went behind my back but each time faithfully came back to tell me how sorry he was, how much of a mistake it was, how each time for the first time his heart was not in it, how he had zero desire and zero passion. Each time I broke down and felt deceived and broken but I was not strong enough to walk away and so I forgave him. Him that played me God knows how many times. I got worse by the day, my health kept deteriorating. Often I’d feel an intense pain in my chest and I would run out of breath. Months of routine, weeks of pain, days of sadness, hours of doubt until I finally did it. I was tired of living like a prisoner and so I walked away… further each time he tried to win me back…

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